I'm due back at work soon and my manager is horrible and picks on me and I hate my job and I cry at the thought of going back it we need the money. I know that's irrational but I'm just too scared. I'm so scared if I go to my gp or talk to my HV they will take my boy away from me because they think I am depressed. I am most of the time but sometimes I just cry and feel like a rubbish mum. Then she stopped coming because she said I seem fine. I was so down at first and my HV appointed a lady to come see me once a week and makes sure I was ok. I had an EMCS with no skin to skin for hours, I was so drugged up. I feel so guilty that I feel like this when he is so perfect. He's 9mo and I love him so much I honestly do. I keep thinking about going to the doctors but I am absolutely petrified they will start sending people round to check up on me and they will think I am unfit to look after my beautiful boy. I convinced my myself at first that I don't. Looking for advice but posted on aibu as I know it is always busy with lots of women who have been through difficult times relating to PND. Hi there, regular poster, NC as I am a bit nervous I will be recognised.
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